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Recently I received a grades report and my parents were angry with some of my results. They're punishing me by limiting my freedom. I study abroad and on February half-term I've a choice of either going home or staying at host family.

Flying back home:
Pros - being home is always good;
Cons - expensive and I promised my bf to spend St Valentines day together (my 1st proper St. V. day ever and we both were looking forward to it!), so he's really upset and disappointed with me cos I told him I might have to break the promise.

Host family:
pros - still can see my bf and maybe persuade my mum to stay over at his for 2 days so make him a bit happier
cons - living with random ppl for 10 days, I won't get to see him much anyway cos the family lives far away and also I miss my parents so much so not sure if id cope without them for 3 months.

I would have to study anyway so theres no difference where to stay in terms of that. My mum wants me to decide asap but I hesitate whats better though. I still want to see my family even tho we are not in good relationships atm but I also don't want to disappoint my bf cos I really love him and we don't get to spend much time together. Please help!
Country: UK
    

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1 Answer

+2 votes
Profile Photo by Celine (380 points)   3
edited by Celine
Hi there, why don’t you discuss with your mum for your dilemma as she sounded reasonable – she allowed you to decide if you wanna go home or not, rather than asking you to go home straight away.

You know, studying overseas is quite expensive, no wonder your parents expected you to have good grades coz she would have assumed that you have been studying in a better educational environment. So I guessed your parents might think that you may be able to study more efficiently if you return home to be with the family. Besides, it’s very possible that they miss you and would like you to be around them for a period of time every year.

Well, as for your promise to your BF; it’s good that you’ve intended to keep your words, and you actually quite look forward to spend time with him on that special day for lovers (and your loved ones). I understand – but have you ever thought that – that’s the way I thought of it – Wouldn’t it also be equally important if you can express love and appreciation to your loved ones on any other day?

So… supposing that both you and your BF can accept that one day being apart wouldn’t affect your relationship, and he lets you decide to go home or not without feeling guilty about breaking your promise. If I were your mum, I would think your BF is quite mature, which is beneficiary for you and his future, isn’t it?

Now as your family provides you financial support on your Uni study, it would be reciprocal that you assure them that you’ve taken your best efforts including choosing friends wisely.

Conclusion – talk to your mum, I am sure that she loves you a lot and always considers your best interest.

Cheers!

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