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It was so sudden and everything is getting darker for me i know i am young but she was my world she died in my arms i really do not  know what to do seeing counsellors but its not helping.
Country: U.K
    

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4 Answers

+2 votes
Profile Photo by Ellison ANGEL2000+ (2.1k points)   1 6
I am very sorry to hear that. First off my condolences and heart goes out to you. Brother, please try to remember that your wife is out of pain and is watching you. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. God brought her home but He still has a plan for you. Lean on Him and He will comfort you and give you peace. I will be praying for you. Please keep pushing. You can make it. I know your wife would want you to. May God bless and keep you. May His shine on you and be gracious to you. May He liok in you and show you mercy. May His peace and love surround you forever. In Jesus's name, Amen.
+3 votes
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59
I am so sorry. I can see how you are devastated. Just like you didn't want her to die, she too would want you to live. I know that nothing can replace her or your child, but there are still things for you to do in this life. I know you can't see it yet. It's too soon. She died in your arms so the trauma has been firmly imprinted. You were there and I'm sure you felt utterly helpless and alone at that moment. Please don't feel guilty. There was nothing you could have done. Death is not something we control.

Please don't do anything silly like harming yourself. Live! Live for them, and ensure that their memory continues to be a part of this world. As long as you live so will they. Remember too the pain you are feeling now and realize that this would be the very same pain you would be inflicting on your loved ones. And I am certain you would not want to be the cause of their misery. Your family and friends love and care for you. They want you in this world. No one ever really leaves us. Talk to her; tell her how you feel. Ask her to help you get through this. She is listening, even if you don't always get an answer. It will help you feel better. You are not crazy for talking to her. Her spirit I am sure is close to you. And I am sure she would not want you to suffer so.

Don't despair. Like you said, you are still young. I know it's hard to accept loss, especially when it comes suddenly. But keep going to counsellors. It will get better; it's just going to take time. It is still too fresh. Try and remember the good times with her and how she made your life better, and be happy. I know that is really really hard because you wanted her to continue the good times here with you, and your child. But they truly are in a better place. I know that you have probably already heard that from literally everyone, and it doesn't really help. I wish I had some magic words that would make all your pain go away. I wish I had the power to bring them back to life. I'm sorry, but this is probably the hardest thing in life you will ever have to face. But you don't have to face it alone. I am here if you want to keep talking. Please feel free to tell/ ask me anything. You can come here at any time. There will always be someone listening.
0 votes
Profile Photo by Polchies ANGEL3000+ (3.8k points)   1 3 4
I am sorry for your loss. You have certainly suffered more then any one person should ever have to. There is no easy way to cope with this kind of loss which will feel like the right way. I do need to ask how long ago it was that your wife passed? This will give me a better understanding of your situation.

 

 The loss of a loved one is the greatest grief anyone will ever know, and from what I understand from your post, you also suffered the loss of a child as well, is this right? If so the pain and hurt you are dealing with are greater because you not only lost one person but both. You are probably filled with mixed emotions and not really sure how to cope or deal with any of it. The sudden passing of a loved one always tends to hit us hardest because unlike when we know that someone has been ill for awhile and we have time to somewhat prepare ourselves for their end, when we lose someone suddenly, we haven't been given time to understand, cope with or process what has happened.

 

 If this was a recent loss then you are still in the grieving stage and this is all you know how to do. You have become dependent on your wife, used to having her around and the shell shock of her no longer being around is still all that consumes you. Unfortunatly at this stage, people may try to offer you advice and help, but, this often falls on deaf ears because you are grieving for your loss and this is a personal process, something you and only you will know how to do for you.

 

 If your loss was awhile ago then you are more then likely in what I like to call the "Loss of living" stage. This means that you have went through the basic steps of grieving and upset over your loss and have settled on the fact that without this woman your life has lost all meaning and you have probably given up on any kind of life you had before. You find yourself just going through the motions everyday. Go to work so you can pay your bills, but, you are still falling behind in your bills, come home and thats about it. You may find yourself avoiding friends and family and general outings, making up excuses or finding reasons not to go out. You have found that the only place you want to be is in the home that you shared with your wife. Again, this is a process that only you can go through and although you may take friends and family along for the journey with you, you and only you can determine when you will be able to cope enough to move on through this stage.

 

 I do feel the need to ask for more information though to better understand your situation so I can offer you help if you would take it, but, for me to offer you my best advice and help, I feel the need to better understand your situation first. When did your wife pass? Did the child pass as well? Do you still live in the house that you shared with your wife? How far along was your wife when she passed? Do you still have pictures of your wife up and does your house look the same way that it did when she was alive?

 I understand that these are intensly personal questions and I mean no harm nor do I wish to cause you more pain, I simply wish to better understand your situation so that I may, even in some small way help you with your loss. I am here and ready and willing to help you in any way that I can. As soon as you are ready to recieve that help. You and only you will know when you are ready to reach out for help.
0 votes
by  
it dont get better you just lern to live with it
my world died 6 weeks a go and i am trying so fkn hard to keep going
think of the thing that made you two get together and think of all the rough times you had and yet you made so many fun and memrabil memoreys ask around and see if people you both new and se if they have photos you havent seen then laugh at her smile and say she will always be my wife and no one will ever have the best thing that this crazy world can giv, they the best ting in life are free loves is

i have been doing just that and the amount of freinds photos my love is in are a mazing
people are only to happy to help and if you can put on a flash drive and show on your tv grand
and your love will be there any timg you need to see her and yes it is so hard the first few times bu remember if she was not happy then she would not have chosen you to spend her life time with the only person who made her feel cherrished and sir if you are like me you did

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