Yes, there is a way for you to be able to live without going on like this. You can have feelings for a person, and not just to manipulate them. What you said about personal gain is kind of echoed in the Bible, and that is where any help I am going to be able to give you comes from.
First, the echo. 1 Timothy 6:10a, "For the love of money is the root of all evil:..."
Second, the definition and source of love.
(A) Definition: 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. (2) And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. (3) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. (4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, (5) Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; (6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; (7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (8) Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."
(B) Source: 1 John 4:8, "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love."
Third, a warning. 1 Timothy 6:10, "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."
Jeremiah 17:9, "For the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
Revelations 21:8, "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."
Luke 13:3, "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish."
Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."
Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Who is...John 10:30, "I and my Father are one."
Romans 5:7,8, "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. "
John 14:6, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Romans 10:9, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
Fourth, a second warning and help.
1 John 3:1, "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not."
2 Timothy 2:15, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."
1 Thessalonians 5:15-22, "See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. (16) Rejoice evermore. (17) Pray without ceasing. (18) In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (19) Quench not the Spirit. (20) Despise not prophesyings. (21) Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. (22) Abstain from all appearance of evil."
I know that this is a lot all at once, but it would be a good idea to write it down and keep going back to it, If you need help, pray, seek, and then email.