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Profile Photo by horwood ANGEL2000+ (2.2k points)   1 10 29
i don't understand myself anymore I be happy then something bad happens and then I am in a bad mood for weeks till I pick myself off the floor I hate doing this all the time hurting myself self harming then helping others to feel fine I help everyone else to help me feel better but when I really need someone there nobody is ever there and that annoys and hurts me like I am doing this all for nothing why was I put on this earth? if im not meant to be where I am and have so much hatred in me and never being happy for a long time I just want to be happy to help others and myself and not wish to be dead all the time and most of all have privacy from my parents I get nothing from them im not allowed a choice and then im allowed no privacy I just don't know what to do anymore it annoys me so much I cant control my feelings I cant resist the call of the blade and I really want to, just to feel relief in myself without blades I don't get why I cant just do that it hurts so much to know I cant, I just want him to know how much I really feel for him and not ignore me when I try to talk to him, I just want things to change its killing me internally and externally I just don't know what to do anymore I hate this it may seem like stupid reasoning but everything is just bottled inside that I cant do much anymore without feeling hated and getting upset over everything I just want things to change no matter what I just want to be happy again and try not to be upset over the smallest things I just don't know how to cope anymore.
Country: england
    

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3 Answers

0 votes
Profile Photo by revilla2 (140 points)   1
First off I just want to say you are a beautiful human being and you are not doing all this for nothing. I know sometimes it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel but you have to remember that you are the one in charge of the tunnel and you yourself radiate the light. I'm assuming you are still quite young since you say you live with your parents? I can definitely relate to these feelings you are having. When I was young I too used to hurt myself. I felt like I was alone in the world, and no one understood me, let alone tried to understand me. It felt like I didn't matter, and I obviously couldn't talk to my mom about these feelings without uncomfortableness. Almost 10 years later, that time in my life seems like it didn't even happen, and I'm extremely glad and grateful that I didn't act on impulse and do something as tragic as ending my life because then I wouldn't have given myself any chance. Back then life seemed so meaningless, today life is amazing! If you want to feel happy find things that make you happy whether its painting, drawing, singing, surfing, anything. You just need to find an outlet to channel all the negative energy into. Also, I know right now your parents seem like your worst enemy, and its hard to imagine that they were ever young, but if you really need someone to talk to don't forget that they will love you no matter what! Life is too short to not say what's on your mind, and its definitely too short to care what others think about you. Live your life in accordance to who you are, and who you want to be. This is your time! If you really want to relieve some anger and gain happiness I highly recommend meditation. It will bring you peace of mind, and it helps make those little things that set you off seem really insignificant.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (279k points)   7 7 12
Verses in the Holy Bible about helping others:


Hebrews 13:16 ESV / 2,268 helpful votes

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Philippians 2:4 ESV / 1,544 helpful votes

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Luke 6:38 ESV / 1,136 helpful votes

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

1 John 3:17 ESV / 1,019 helpful votes

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?

Matthew 25:35-40 ESV / 848 helpful votes

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was ***** and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or ***** and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

James 2:14-17 ESV / 697 helpful votes

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

Galatians 6:2 ESV / 594 helpful votes

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

John 15:12 ESV / 507 helpful votes

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Matthew 5:16 ESV / 492 helpful votes

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Proverbs 19:17 ESV / 485 helpful votes

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

Proverbs 22:9 ESV / 279 helpful votes

Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor.

Matthew 5:42 ESV / 266 helpful votes

Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

Romans 15:1 ESV / 233 helpful votes

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

Matthew 5:13-16 ESV / 218 helpful votes

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

John 15:13 ESV / 201 helpful votes

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Proverbs 3:27 ESV / 192 helpful votes

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

Matthew 10:8 ESV / 187 helpful votes

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay.

Helpful Not Helpful
Romans 12:13 ESV / 172 helpful votes

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Hebrews 6:10 ESV / 158 helpful votes

For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.

1 Kings 1:1-53 ESV / 11 helpful votes

Now King David was old and advanced in years. And although they covered him with clothes, he could not get warm. Therefore his servants said to him, “Let a young woman be sought for my lord the king, and let her wait on the king and be in his service. Let her lie in your arms, that my lord the king may be warm.” So they sought for a beautiful young woman throughout all the territory of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. The young woman was very beautiful, and she was of service to the king and attended to him, but the king knew her not. Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him.

James 2:1-5:20 ESV / 10 helpful votes

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?

John 15:1-5 ESV / 10 helpful votes

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
0 votes
Profile Photo by brianseleh ANGEL500 (560 points)   4
Hi dear, first of all I'm sorry that you are suffering, but there is a lot to do to relax your feelings, mind and spirit, I red your writing many times, you are amazing person, you have lots of feelings and strong mind, you could be the happiest. You'v been attacked by your inner critics, that is part of you and you can't fight it, it is like darkness you can't fight with it just bring light then the darkness is gone, you need to bring Self Love and Self Acceptance, it takes practice and time but you need to love yourself, you should know that you are worthy of love, you are valuable, and worthy because God has created you. Anything God created is beautiful, You are beautiful, Life is beautiful, Just open you eyes and see it, Love yourself, accept yourself as you are not as others want you to be, be gentle and nice to your self, you should know there is no one like you in the whole world, you are unique, it is a reality, feelings are not true they are electric charges in the nerves and neurons, they will go away, you are reality,
Wish happiest life

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