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+1 vote
I face a man who assumes he is my father however has never shown such care to me, and I feel like since moving in with him I have dropped from the level of human, I feel like I am more ofa pet or servant and because I have recently moved to a big town from a small one I am hopeless for finding a job or even anything to do during the day, getting out of bed is hard enough.

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3 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by Duffy (280 points)   1

Hows it going?

I've been in your situation before and I know the feeling. It sucks. But there comes a point where you have to get up and go out and do it.

If it helps, put yourself in the mentality '**** this im doing it, **** the world im doing this for me' Thats my motivation.

Look up online how to make a CV if you don't have one already, print off, like 50 and go into every shop/restaurant you see and ask to speak to the manager, if he comes out say your looking for a job and hand your CV over. Don't forget to smile!

Being locked up in a house is horrible and it sounds like the thing you want is a job to give yourself some freedom, it will also give you a reason to not be taken advantage anymore, if you've worked all day he won't make you run around like a pet but remember, asking to take the garbage out once in a while isn't making you run around, its just helping out.

Essentially, if you don't like your situation, change it you have the power to do so!

0 votes
Profile Photo by Polchies ANGEL3000+ (3.8k points)   1 3 4
Firstly I would like to ask how old you are because depending on your age I can better asess why you have these feelings towards this man. Also, is this a step father figure or just a dad with no affection for you? This also can help better assist you.


 So many people find themselves in this sitaution and with these feelings when a family member, especially a parent or parental figure in their lives does not live up to their expectations. Unfortunatly, espcially in todays' society with the number of absent or less then supportive parents rising by the day, this epidemic has become a regular issue. Unlike family dynamics back in say the 1940s and 50s when the parents knew it was their job to look after, raise and support their children, alot of parents today have started to believe that their children should be more greatful and more independant and in trying to make their children such, parents have forgotten that children are still children and still need to feel the love and support from their parents.

 If this is a case of a step parent then there are so many other dynamics that come into place in these situations. Unlike if this was your biological father, if this man is just a step parent then there are many reasons why this situation is complex and should be treated delicatly. First of all, a step parent is just someone who has been brought into the situation. They may or may not be aware of the complexity that comes with being a "parent" especially if they themselves are not a parent. If this is the case with this man then you need to understand that this is new for him too and that he may just be doing what he thinks is best, however, that said, a step parent is not the parent and should never be given the power that a true parent would have. A step parent may become a helping hand in dealing with step children but should never become the rule maker or main disiplinary figure in that childs' life. If your mother is a part of this equation then she should be the main person making the rules concerning you, your step father should only be there to support and back her up because you are her child and after all, she is the one who brought this man into your life, you didn't pick him and you certainly didn't ask for him to step in as your father. Alot of times when there is an absent father, a mother will look for a replacement father figure for her child because society has engraved it into womens minds that every child needs a father and so she will look for what she believes to be a suitable replacement for the biological father who has left. This is of no fault to your mother because again she believes she is doing what is best for you. However, this is not the case. If a child knows their natural parent, whether that parent is now absent from the childs' life or not, the child will not want a replacement parent. They know and are accustomed to and comfortable with the parent they know and that is that. Any replacement parent, no matter how great they may be will never take the place of the natural parent and for anyone to think so is a negative outlook because it most commonly is never the case. This man needs to realize that you know and recognize that he is not actually your father and that you are gaining growing resentment towards him for him allowing himself the power to think he can take your biological fathers' place.

If this is a case of him being your natural father but he just isn't acting like such then this is a completly seperate situation from that of a step parent because feelings and emotions, as well as the main dynamics of the situation are changed. Now we aren't dealing with a step parent who was just brought into your life, we are dealing with a natural parent who has always been in your life but has refused to show any positive contribution or offer any positive feedback in your life. If this man is in fact your biological parent and you feel as though he is not supporting you the way a father should then this is a situation to be dealt with immediatly. A childs' parents are the one true constant a child no matter what age are supposed to be able to rely on no matter what and when one of these parents fails to fulfill his/her duties as a supportive, loving parent, the child ends up with feelings of hurt and anger and resentment for this parent. The child begins to believe that he/she is not good enough and maybe if they were a better student, or better at sports or smarter then maybe that parent would be proud of them, a child can lose their own identity when a parent is less then supportive in their lives. Feelings of inadequecy in a child are often crippling to the child, leading to a number of issues such as social anxiety, attachement and abandonment issues, sometimes in worse case scenerios the child may attempt suicide as a cry for attention or start getting into things they shouldn't (gangs, hanging out with the wrong crowds, etc). These are all desperate cries for attention from the child to try to get the attention of the parent who seemingly has no interest in them.

My advice to you is to talk to this man, whether he is your natural father or step father. Tell him exactly how you feel depending on the situation and what role he plays in your life. If he knows and he doesn't change then talk to your mother and explain it to her because she may not be fully aware of the whole situation. If she does, there are other ways to deal with this. If you are younger, phone your local childrens help phone and talk to someone, or talk to a teacher, guidance councillor or principal at your school. There are always people willing to help you. If you are older and this is happening then maybe distance is the only way to go if you have tried communicating your feelings and nothing has changed then maybe this is the only option left. Sometimes when a child removes themselves the parent or parents become aware of how serious the child believes the situation to be and the parents do something to change it in order to have the child back in their lives. Now if you are young and still under gaurdianship of your parent(s) I am by no means telling you to runaway and do not think anything of the sort because this kind of attention is not at all the kind you want. I am simply saying that there are calm, logical ways to reach out for help and get the attention that you need.

Just make sure that whatever choice you make is the one that will lead you down the path to self happiness and make sure it is the right choice. Family dynamics are difficult no matter what the situation, but, remember, the things we find we have to fight hardest for are usually the ones well worth the fight.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (284k points)   7 7 12

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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