I think a long lasting relationship is based on many factors. Marriage is just one of them. However, it seems to me that you are trying to believe that it is the key to keep her with you.
This is not the complete solution. If you are aware of some other problems that may hinder the relationship, you do need to solve them. However, don’t give yourself all the pressure. It is a problem for both of you to face, so you need to talk with her and make sure it is a big problem for her, then you two can find ways to work together to solve it.
Suicide is NOT a solution to your problem. You would lost her and everything. And she would suffer from pain the rest of her life (missing you and thinking she is the one who cause all the problems and make you commit suicide).
Please have faith on your relationship and believe that you two can work together to solve any problem encounter.
I can see where being part of a Baptist church you may be apprehensive of sharing your true identity. Do you need to? I always understood your decisions were between you and God. What others thought had no bearing. It seems as though you have been very confident and self-assured of who you are since a young age, so why would that change now? It’s unfortunate that so many people use God as a reason to hate. If they cannot accept who you really are, then they were never truly your friends to begin with. All I can say is forgive them, and try to be happy.
As for your girlfriend, it seems like you have a lot of trust issues still. This will not change if you get married. It may even get worse. I would strongly suggest counseling. You both need it and it would help to better communicate with each other without hurting one another. If you have decided to forgive her, you can’t keep dwelling on it, which I know is not easy to do. The wedding itself does not have to be an elaborate affair. It is a symbol of two people committing to one another, but no where does it say it has to be a costly affair. I had a friend that got married in her home, friends and family provided the food, and the music was a collection of cd’s and a stereo. Everyone had a great time, and you could literally see the love. I think your real problem is that you still feel hurt about what happened, and you are afraid it will happen again. I definitely think counseling or couples therapy will help immensely. Be strong and don’t lose hope. answered Jul 16 by vg2012