If you die three years ago, the events you listed would most likely happen anyway. It could be even worse.
Instead, because you are living, you spent valuable time with your dying grandpa and pets; you helped your disabled mother and aging father …
In short term, it might not get better, but if you keep a positive mind set, and make wise and right decisions, you could see the light and a beautiful future.
You are not alone! You need help and advice, so please ask for it!
You can call the helpline anytime:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)