hey I will listen to you and try to help you feel something besides fear. I have been in your shoes before. I tried to kill myself three times and got caught all three times. I chose to hang myself. I was picked up by friends and one time my Dad. I could find no reason to live and felt as if I was in everyones way. I always felt like everyone around me was having fun enjoying their lives and I was always on the outside looking in. I found Jesus. And at this point you may think what can he do for me? Well let me tell you he can and does make a difference in life and heart. Can I ask if you have been saved or do you believe in the Lord? Do you know killing yourself is an unforgivable sin? Start reading a Bible and you will find answers. The Lord can put peace in your heart, end your lonliness and bring a smile to your face. You can soon realize there is something bigger and better in the Lord Almighty. I really hope you will take this advice and try picking up a Bible, find a good church and go and listen to what the preacher has to say. It always seemed to me that when I was at my lowest and went to church that the message that day was just what I needed. I also was a cutter. I used razors, glass and broken plastic to cut myself. Now that I have turned my life over to Jesus I have over come that part of my life. Oh don’t think I don’t still have the scars as a constant reminder of where I was and how far I have come. Trust in God and you will find peace. I will be praying for you to overcome your problems and that the Lord will work on your heart. GOD BLESS!!!