I am sorry you are in such a horrible situation. You are not a criminal for being homeless, nor should you be made to feel guilty for feeling depressed. You have reasons to feel that way. I am sorry your husband is not more understanding. Your husband is in a dark place, and at least it seems like you want out. He seems to be content with the current situation. You cannot make him change. You can only change yourself. You may be homeless now for reasons outside your control, but you do control how you react to all this. No one should live like you do. Have you no family here that can help? In Japan? It is perfectly ok to ask for help. There is no shame. We all need it. Please understand that you have done all you can with your husband, and there is not much else you can do if he is not willing. You can always come here and talk to us. We are here to help. Kiboo wa tsune ni arimasu!