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+1 vote
So for the last 3 years i have had undiagnosed chronic pain and fatigue and a lot of other horrible symptoms. For about a year and a half, I had so much hope in me. Whenever the doctors found a possible treatment and/or diagnosis, I would get so exited and I fully believed my pain would be over soon. But each time, the doctors were wrong and nothing could help me. When that would happen, I would get so so depressed and ended up trying to kill myself because I could not live on that extreme emotional rolarcoaster of never ending pain. So I quit hoping. I accepted that nothing could help me, so there was no point getting my hopes up or even trying. That is my mind set right now.

On the other hand, my mum is the complete opposite. She is constantly trying to find a cure and diagnosis. She is going to pay thousands for me to go to a private doctor who she is sure will make me better. But we dont have that kind of money and it is worrying me. I think that it would just be a waste of money and time if she makes me go to this private doctor, because if my illness had a cure, they would have found it by now. theres no point paying loads of money.  

Now here is where im getting confused. I think she is in denial (the "rationalizing type: If i can find good enough reasons for my problems, then I wont have to deal with them")  because she will not accept that nobody can help me.  But she thinks that I am in denial ("strategic hopelessness: since nothing works, I dont have to try") because I think nobody can help me. But i am basing that knowledge on the fact that I have been discharged from 5 hospitals in the last year because they said they cannot help me.  My mum is basing it on pretty much nothing.

Who do you think is right (I wont get offended XD) ?

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3 Answers

+1 vote

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time because of your health.  Don't lose hope.  When you do, you lose faith.  Faith is sometimes all we have when nothing else works.  Faith in God.  It is the only thing that will carry us through difficult times.  

It is very clear that your mother loves you dearly.  How very blessed you are to have such a mother like yours.  A mother that will not give up on you...when you have given up on yourself.  A mother who has the strength to fight for you...when you don't want to fight any longer.  A mother that sees hope in your future...when you see none.  A mother who has the faith for you to be healed...when you are feeling hopeless.   A mother who will give all she has in order for you to be healed...when you think of possessions.  She won't give up on you...when you have.  Your mother wants to know that she has done everything possible to help you get better.  A mother's love has been described by your mother's action.  I can't say enough of how blessed you are to have such a wonderful mother.  I don't think your question is about who is right but rather you should be asking who has more faith and who loves you more.  You know the answer.  

You want your mother to give up on you so you can continue to give up on yourself.  Your mother isn't going to make it easy for you to do that.  Stop "fighting" your mother and help her to help you.  She needs your support.  She cannot do it alone.  She is struggling as you are in a different way.  Love her because she loves you unconditionally and is doing everything she can so you can have a better life.

"Just because something isn’t happening for you now doesn’t mean it never will be.  Don't lose hope."

Watch the below video.  Search for Number 549.  Page 14.

"O God, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing..Then help me to remember that, Your Love is always greater than my disappointment and the plans for my life are always better than my dreams.  Amen."
+1 vote
Firstly what a lovely caring mother!
You both have a point.
Your mum is saying not to give up, things can get better for you but you need the understanding of what is happening to know how best to proceed.
You are saying "the pills don't work and I give up trying to find a solution for my problem" your right as in as much as the pills don't always work, but there are lots of pills to try! unless you have had them all you just cant make that massive statement.
As for finding the solution to your problem your saying "this is how it is for me and it wont change" so are you actually "living" your life whilst managing your condition or are you settled to just "existing" with your condition?
It's ok to reject medical assistance as long as you are prepared to holistically help yourself and not just give up.
I wish you all the best x
0 votes
This may seem like it's out of left field and here it goes. Sometimes pain, fatigue and depression are caused by our food choices. I don't know your situation; however, one aspect to look at is what you are eating. As Hippocrates said,  "Let food be thy medicine".  Consider, if you haven't already,  healthy nutrition choices. A good source for information is You can use this information as a guide. Of course your pain is real.  You are suffering. It can change. You can do it! I'm sending positive energy and thoughts your way right now!

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