Family of four, desperate for help.

Question

I need help in the most desperate of time.. my family is falling apart, my lady is thinking of ending everything, daughter has tried... Her ex is a department of defense officer, has lied to court, to everyone.. buried us in debt to the point where we cannot continue.. what can we do.

Answer 1

Hi,

I've struggled with hurts, hang-ups and habits, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been working the 8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery. Part of my continued healing is that I share with others the solution. The 8 Principles of CR are:

1) Realize I’m not God. I admit that I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing, and that my life has become unmanageable.
2) Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has the power to help me recover.
3) Consciously commit my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
4) Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself and to someone I trust.
5) Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to do in my life, and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.
6) Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
7) Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and his will for my life and to gain the power to follow his will.
8) Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.

Celebrate Recovery, a fellowship of people recovering from hurts, hang-ups and habits. To find a group:
http://locator.crgroups.info

My recovery story, plus other information for life, can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Khujx17Q7c

Thanks for reading this.

May peace be with you,
Anonymous

Answer 2

Hi L. Without knowing the situation, I can only comment on what can be a fast solution to the debt problem. If this has gotten to the point that your lady is thinking of ending everything and your daughter has already tried, I would have to say that this has become a cricise situation which requires immediate action.  These debts regardless how they came to be appear to be unsurmountable.  I would suggest that you contact a trustee in bankruptcy or a layer for assistance.  These creditors will no longer be able to harass you and will have to negotiate with your representative.  There is no shame in that. Situations do come up in life which warrants and necessitates such action.  Many trustees or lawyers in bankruptcy can even set you up on a monthly payment plan which is affordable and stress reducing.  They may suggest writing up a written proposal to the debt holder or may state that bankruptcy is you only option. Just because one declares bankruptcy does not mean they will lose their house or car.   No debt is worth ending it for. There are many options out their and this is one of them. Relax my friend and don't let these blood ******* leeches deprive you of a blessed Christmas and wonderful new year.  Don't give up all your money to them. Buy food, pay your rent or mortgage, pay your utilities along for your personal needs and with whatever is left over you can consider the debts.  Please talk to someone regarding bankruptcy or a consumer proposal right away.  God bless you my friend and don't let them get to you. Papasmurff.?

Comments

I've started working again after a medical leave... Yes. Bankruptcy could be one part of the answer, however it's dealing with the narcissist psychopath daily that is taking the toll..  his constant abuse to his ex and kid. Constant text messages (see you in court, calling his son a worthless piece of **** just like his mom and sister. Constant will full anger.) He will not flex for any reason whatsoever on anything if we need anything done.. like phonecalls .. if he isn't available at a certain time we have to wait for his call all night sometimes, however if we cannot it is now or the once again you are in breach, see you in court.. recently my lady got into an accident taking the kids to school( once again ... We do this daily however he is in charge of where the kids go to school .. so he moved to the farthest point allowed by paperwork.) A 45 minute drive. His first response is if you put any of this on my insurance I'm going to sue you, and btw all the insurance on the kids is being withheld until you can prove it is not from the accident..   he took me to court personally because I was helping the kids like a stepfather should, homework.. chores.. hugs.. talking through issues. He slapped me with a sexual violence charge in civil court then dropped it last minute, however the charges cannot be removed from my record as it is civil.

He will fully injured his daughter, damaged her arm bad enough to cause a maybe permanent lifetime disability and explained it in a way that child advocate services said it was within his rights to do so..   he is a monster.. flat out.  How do you get that constant evil pressure out of your life destroying your house, home and family. ( He lives in a half million dollar house, we scrape by in a small home living check to almost check..)..