How to get over a 5 year obsession with someone I can never be with?

Question

Hello,

I am a 17 year old girl. I moved school this year and I really wanted some advice. When I was 12 years old a teacher joined my old school. To this day I have been obsessed with this teacher- I still think about her everyday and I really don't know what is wrong with me. I left that school summer of 2017, and am really concerned as to the extent I still think about her..


Thank you for any help

Answer 1

Hi anonymous, you are a young lady with her whole life ahead of her. In our lives we meet some special people we can never forget. Some of those reasons may be that that person may have been viewed as a loving and caring person who was there for us at our time of need and confusion. They may have helped us in a variety of ways.  Teaching young people takes a very special person to do that job.  Some teachers seem to have a God given ability to that above and beyond many others in the same profession can not.  I too as a young man to be was lucky enough to have such a teacher.  To her she saw me as a young man with potential to become someone special in life. To other teachers I was just another kid that needed to step up to speed with the other students or be left behind. This teacher took time to care,  she talked with me, praised me in front of others and made me feel special.  Many times she gave up her coffee break to chat with me about things that bothered me.  Not understanding what I was feeling emotionally about her, I thought I was falling in love with her.  Its hard when your younger to recognise emotions and feelings and interoperate them in proper context.  Every day she was on my mind. I even felt butterflies in my stomach when she was near.  I would imagine senerios like what if I was older would I stand a chance of getting her to fall in love with me as well. Oh I had it bad. To me I felt there would never be another person that I would ever be able to love. As the years went by  I finally got to understand what she saw in me and mentored me for.  I went on to school to get a master's degree in counselling then counselled people with love and understanding.  She had showed me to be emphatic towards others and mentor people to go beyond what is viewed as being the norm and becoming someone special. So I guess yes she loved me as well.  She was a beacon to me at a time that I felt lost and confused.  I am 62 years old now and I still think of her at times.  Therefore, I  doubt that you will ever forget about that teacher and perhaps you were not meant to.  So here you are asking what is wrong with you. Absolutely nothing my young friend.  She was a God sent to you at a time you needed an angel.  Being in a caring profession  myself and haven helped people in their time of need some indicated that they were having emotional feelings for me as well.  It was not easy for me to let them down and explain that this happens often and that the person being helped can easily become confused.  Your teacher is aware of that as well. In time when you go on with your life and career I am sure you will come to realise that as well. My suggestion to you would be to go on and become the best you can be and be that special person your teacher knew you could become. God bless you and I pray that the Holy Spirit will enlighten a path for you in life. Papasmurff, A.K.A. Rick B.

Comments

thank you so much for your response. Your words really ring true to me and I feel comforted knowing that others too have gone through similar sorts of feelings- I don't feel as weird anymore. You are a good person, thank you. God bless :)

Answer 2

Hi,

I've struggled with hurts, hang-ups and habits, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been working the 8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery. Part of my continued healing is that I share with others the solution. The 8 Principles of CR are:

1) Realize I’m not God. I admit that I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing, and that my life has become unmanageable.
2) Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has the power to help me recover.
3) Consciously commit my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
4) Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself and to someone I trust.
5) Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to do in my life, and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.
6) Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
7) Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and his will for my life and to gain the power to follow his will.
8) Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.

Celebrate Recovery, a fellowship of people recovering from hurts, hang-ups and habits. To find a group:
http://locator.crgroups.info

My recovery story, plus other information for life, can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Khujx17Q7c

Thanks for reading this.

May peace be with you,
Anonymous