Asking For Help is Not a Sign of Weakness! It is a brave and critical First Step! ASK a Question Now!
+1 vote
Profile Photo by T (130 points)   2
I'm a 21 y/o male. It seems like every opportunity I get for happiness, somehow my subconscious steers my away from it. Whether it be maintaining relationships with friends/family, or new career opportunities. I don't know why I shun people, isolate myself, and dig myself deeper and deeper into this pit of misery. I've been asking myself this question for about the last 5 years. And as I go deeper into this misery I become ever-more anxious about ever resurfacing. I can't imagine living a "normal" life, where you can maintain healthy relationships and just generally not be depressed. I must have lived such a life once, but I can't remember what it felt like.

I have no close friends. Those that I had, I have avoided for years (why?) and are no longer close. My relationship fell apart... it was a perfectly good thing, but my ******* subconscious expected it to fail (why?). Two years later I still lie awake at night thinking about it. I stopped talking to my parents for no reason (why?). I feel an incredible weight of guilt for all of these people, which chokes my chest whenever I have an idle moment to think. And my sexual alter-ego is deeply influenced by submissiveness, humiliation etc.

From all these symptoms I've concluded that somehow... I just... don't want to be happy. BUT I WANT TO BE HAPPY. I WANT TO BE NORMAL. I'm afraid that this will become the story of my life; that I will grow old alone and that I will die alone, without even having lived. I want to change things, but I don't know how, I feel like with my current state of mind I would relapse immediately into my current habits.
Thankyou for reading
Country: Australia

Your answer

By submitting an answer you warrant and confirm to us that you agree to comply with the Three Laws of Find Angel : Not-for-Profit, Positive, and Equal. Thank you for making this world a better place, Angel!
Please Contact Us if you need any technical help! Get daily Angel Help Request Notification here!
Be Someone’s Angel Today!

Please enter your answer in the box below:

Your name to display (optional):
Privacy: Your email address will only be used for sending these notifications.
Anti-spam verification:
To avoid this verification in future, please log in or register.

1 Answer

0 votes
Profile Photo by justdavenow ANGEL18K+ (21.9k points)   4 7 17
I have a bit of consternation in offering you an answer. Im pretty sure I know what's wrong but lack the proper credentials to state that. So lets take this route. Please find a well recommended mental health therapist, describe to him or her exactly what you have here and simply ask if this sounds like bi-polar disorder. If it is, its pretty mild and the therapy prescribed should not only be effective but should totally transform your life. On a subject that I can speak freely about, I cannot recommend highly enough, especially for someone your age, a robust fitness program with strong nutritional support. Just my opinion but I see a really cool future unfolding before you. To have the sort of honest self insight you display, at your age, indicates to me that you have a lot of potential. Where that potential takes you, is up to you :) My best to you.

Share this question

Welcome to Angels Online Help Desk, where you can ask questions and receive answers from the public community of ANGELS - people share similar vision and mission of helping others and making this world a better place.

You can ask or answer questions without registering. SPAM/SCAM or any for-profit message is NOT allowed here. This is NOT intended for Financial or Travel Support, and this is NOT a Crowdfunding Site, but you can post links to your campaign. We will not contact you for any personal information.

Please note that all questions and answers here are OPEN to the PUBLIC (everyone in the world) and are non-confidential. We do NOT evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. We provide the platform for people to share PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and express PUBLIC OPINION. It is NOT a replacement for professional help.

::Terms of Service::

::Get Help Request Alert::



If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries:
Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 010 195 202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000
Hungary: 116123
Iceland: 1717
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 0508828865
The Netherlands: 113
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 08006895652
USA: 18002738255
You are not alone. Please reach out.


Inform me of new Angel Help Request

6.9k questions

15.1k answers


625 users

Related questions

0 votes
1 answer 498 views
+2 votes
11 answers 394 views
+1 vote
1 answer 79 views
+1 vote
2 answers 156 views