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+1 vote
I'm 22 years old, male, bisexual, alcoholic. I have a friend-with-with benefits who is the one bright spot in my life, though he's usually too busy for me.
I've been out of work for almost a year now and in a month or so I'll lose everything when I get evicted from my shitty apartment.
I don't have any family to speak of and my friends are in worse financial positions than I am. One of them is crashing on my floor now because otherwise she would be homeless, though she'll have to find a new place soon when I get thrown out.
I can't possibly support her, but she stays anyways and I can't bring myself to make her leave.
I've been diagnosed with a wide variety of mental illnesses, but the most prevalent right now is depression. There aren't any jobs out there, but even if there were, I can hardly bring myself to make it through the day without killing myself, much less actually rouse myself to look for a job. But even when I do look, I can't find a single thing.
I hate myself and everything about me. I used to self-harm, but even that doesn't have much appeal anymore.
So I sit and drink and wish I could get up the courage to just kill myself. I'm such a worthless failure and I don't see any way out.
Country: USA, CA

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1 Answer

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please don't I'm begging you please don't. it's not the end not yet trust me. please just don't do it. Keep trying to get a job I know it's hard but keep trying even if its flipping bergers or whatever , anything. Do not resort to self harm or drugs or smoking. the worlds a sucky place I know, and it's hard and it always will be. But we have to keep going make the world a better place make ourselves better people .You are important and you deserve the right to live and be happy. And if you are determined enough you will get there you've just got to keep going. Please I am begging you on my knees please please please don't do it. Be brave. Praying for you x please keep living
I'm just not sure what else to do.
Honestly, I don't think I want to die, it just seems to be the best option.
Plus, sometimes I'm so depressed the most I can do is sit and think about what a waste of life I am and how I'm a failure. Then suicide looks pretty great. I'd get to go out on my own terms, be in control for once.
I'm seconds away from losing my apartment and more importantly, everything in it.
I suffer from anorexia, PTSD, all sorts of stuff. I have nothing resembling control of my life. Can't I just die now? I want the pain and sadness to just please go away.

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